Last week I drove from Athens, Illinois to Oregon. I had neatly planned it that I would drive approximately 10 hours each day and arrive in 3 days time. Ha!
I really wanted to celebrate M's bday before I left and so I needed to drive the route that took "31" hours and not a longer route. I began to feel apprehensive a few days before the trip. I had a mover come to the house to estimate how many pounds our household goods might possibly weigh--19,000--if you should ever need to compare.
The mover began his spiel to sell me the insurance provided by the moving company. He began to talk about the winter snow and the drive over the Rocky mountains. "What if the truck crashes and burns?" he said. "What if nothing is recovered, no bodies, no photos, no household items at all?" He must have seen the horrified look on my face and he did not elaborate further about the bodies. He then even downplayed the situation...which wasn't good for his insurance sale. "Of course, we've never had anything like that--with the bodies crashing and burning...BUT you may want to think about the possibility of theft."
Anyhow, after the conversation with the mover, I began to wonder what mountains I would be driving over...and would I need any special equipment? I vaguely remembered hearing people talk about chains and snow tires for mountain travel. However, I promptly moved on--as it wasn't snowing in Athens then how could it be snowing
anywhere in this lovely country of ours?
I drove through Missouri and most of Nebraska the first day. This drive was long and slow and I quite possibly didn't get as far as I had intended. The long flat stretches and rolling hills were lulling me easily into a driving stupor.
The next day I finished up in Nebraska and began in Wyoming. Wyoming is so beautiful, and I may want to live there some day. However,
Wyoming had a lot of warning signs--"high winds, next 5 miles", "deer crossing", "steep incline", "icy bridge", "if light is flashing then exit to I-80 is closed", "if light is flashing then go back to Cheyenne." Wyomingites must face great peril each day. I could not believe it. I wanted to get out of that state
so badly and it just wouldn't end. I began to think about how F was going to drive with T and M along this same route. I began to think that wouldn't be a good idea.
I couldn't wait to get out of Wyoming and get to Utah. I once bought a bike called a Schwinn Moab and I had googled Moab to see what it was. Moab is a place in Utah and I remembered the gorgeous Internet pictures of sun-filled landscapes of huge reddish rock cliffs and hills.
I got to the "Welcome to Utah" sign and the sign said "Life Elevated." There were pictures of the gorgeous reddish rock cliffs on the sign and then there were the cliffs themselves, swelling up in front of the tiny Honda Civic like something out of a movie. I almost could hear dramatic music playing...Then I noticed the electronic billboard next to the "Life Elevated." sign. It described how many highway deaths occurred in Utah in the last 2 years. What kind of Welcome was that?
I began the drive through Utah. I felt pretty good about it. The Honda Civic hugged the road closely, weighed down with the hundreds of pounds of cookbooks that I had brought with me--to deduct them from the weight of our 19,000 pounds of household goods.
The reddish rock cliff surrounded me. They were bright, and colorful...until they started to get sort of whitish-grey. The white soon overtook any hint of red but it was not openly snowing on my vehicle. The traffic started to slow down. I began to feel even more apprehensive than I had in Wyoming. The traffic slowed down even further. There were great barricades and orange road cones on either side. There were signs that said, "Accident Ahead", but I couldn't figure out why there would be miles and miles of preparation for an accident. I soon came upon a truck and trailer that had another truck embedded INSIDE the trailer--which just didn't look right to me at all, but there were no emergency vehicles or people around it and the "Accident Ahead" signs went on past this. Soon the road signs demanded I exit the Interstate. I pulled in at a gas station as thick flakes of snow started to land--heavily, sloppily.
At the gas station, I filled up the car with gas, used the restroom, and purchased some "World Famous" chicken strips and homefries. People were talking about the road closing. I saw a darling girl, about college age, who was wearing a knit hat with a fluffy ball on top. She looked exactly like a girl that I went to junior college with, who was always the nicest girl in the WHOLE world, and who later worked with my Mom and was still the nicest girl in the WHOLE world. So, I felt comfortable with this doppleganger, and I asked her what the road was closed for. In a calm manner, smiling the entire time, with her floppy knit hat ball bouncing around on top of her head, she stated, "Oh, you know, the whole Interstate is shut down for miles and miles. There was a big crash. 15-20 cars, a propane trucked tipped over and so they can't send rescuers in yet. They have to clear the scene first."
"Oh, yeah. And someone fell off into a ravine."
She smiled and purchased her own chicken strips and homefries. She smiled again. I could NOT believe it. What kind of state has people so accustomed to other people FALLING INTO RAVINES that they don't even blink or look horrified? It was indecent.
I turned away from her to purchase something caffeinated to help renew my constitution and nerves. Her boyfriend came up to me and pointed out the white, snow-flurried window. "You can go up that way--It's Trapper's Loop. If you get up that way then head toward Ogden and you can get around the Interstate closure and get on your way."
Well, I
wanted to get on my way. I
wanted to get the hell out of Utah. Utah and its cliffs of death no longer held any fascination for me. I got in the Civic. I slammed the door. I secured my chicken strips and homefries in the interior compartment and I started up Trapper's Loop. I went up and up and it was blinding white and the car was sliding down about 1/3 of the time that I was trying to move forward. The GPS kept saying, "turn around at your next chance." I didn't see any other cars on the road. The snow kept falling.
I panicked. I was sure I needed chains. I was sure that this wasn't Trapper's Loop. I was sure Utah was going to be the end of me and I would never see my family again. I turned the car around and headed back to the gas station. Shaking, I went inside. I glared at the attendant, pointed out the window and said, "Is THAT Trapper's Loop? Is that what I have to go up to get back to the Interstate?"
"Yep." he said. "And you might want to get a move on if you want to get out of here. A rig just jack-knifed up there and took out a big section of the barrier, so they'll probably close that too."
"What's around here to stay at?" I said.
"There might be a bed and breakfast around here somewhere. Other than that, you'll have to go back the way you came."
I went back to the car and sat. I could not
believe that I was going to have to figure out what to do next all by myself, like I was some kind of grown adult who could make responsible decisions for myself. I just wanted my Mommy to make the choice for me but I knew that she could not. I could not
believe that I was going to have to alone decide if I should stay put and be safe or if I should risk my life by going up Trapper's Loop. I glanced at my GPS. 11 and 1/2 more hours of drive time to go. I had to be at the new job on Monday. It is a government job and they often don't accept weather-related excuses. It is a uniformed service job and they often don't accept any excuses at all. I didn't know what the weather had in store. I didn't know what to do.
I think it was the thought of paying for a bed and breakfast that was the deciding factor. I got in the Civic. I belted in. I texted my family and asked them to pray for me. My hands were shaking, and like when all bad things happen, I began to pray. "HAIL MARY, FULL OF GRACE..." and then I began to interject my own personal words into the prayer.
You see, every time I have ever prayed,
truly prayed, for my life or someone's life or felt that great danger or peril was occurring and I needed divine intervention or peace to deal with the coming moments, I have felt the need to verbally acknowledge in the prayer that I am fully AWARE of my own shortcomings...It's like I want the Lord to know that I know that he knows that I know that I am not all good and possibly not doing enough to make my way into Heaven.
So, I started up the hill, and even though I believe that this may have been a mountain that I was driving up, I
refused to give it such a title. I drove so slowly up this hill. I was all alone on the road. I could not see very far in front of me. "HAIL MARY, FULL OF GRACE. YES I KNOW THAT I HAVEN'T BEEN PRAYING ENOUGH AND POSSIBLY NOT GOING TO CHURCH ENOUGH AND THAT REALLY I SHOULDN'T BE PRAYING AT ALL IF I AM IN NEED LIKE THIS IF I AM NOT GOING TO SAY THANKFUL PRAYERS ON A DAILY BASIS..."
I was not alone any more. Headlights were behind me. I didn't know if it was a good sign, that others were also going this route, or a bad deal, that this moron behind me could possibly speed up and hit me and send me spinning off into the ravine. "THE LORD IS WITH THEE. AND IF HE COULD ALSO BE WITH ME I WOULD APPRECIATE IT. WITH THYSELF? IN THE CAR HERE? I KNOW I HAVEN'T BEEN THE MOST FORGIVING PERSON IN THE WHOLE WORLD AND THAT I AM SUPPOSED TO DO A BETTER JOB FORGIVING AND YOU KNOW WHO IT IS HARD TO FORGIVE? THAT DAUGHTER OF MINE, OH MY GOSH SHE TESTS MY PATIENCE. I COULD JUST KILL HER SOMETIMES. WELL, DON'T TAKE THAT THE WRONG WAY. I'M NOT HAVING MURDEROUS THOUGHTS. REALLY. IT'S JUST AN EXPRESSION..."
The Civic and the headlights behind me were moving so slowly up this hill. I wasn't going more than 10 and the Civic would slide every so often and I would stop breathing. "BLESSED ART THOU AMONGST WOMEN AND BLESSED IS THE FRUIT OF THY WOMB, JESUS. SEE, MARY, I'VE GOT KIDS TOO. THEY REALLY NEED ME AND I NEED TO GET UP THIS HILL NOT THAT I AM SAYING THAT I KNOW WHAT'S BEST. I MEAN CERTAINLY I AM NOT TELLING GOD WHAT TO DO, I'M JUST SAYING THAT I'D
LIKE TO GET UP THIS HILL. AND GET TO OREGON REALLY. SAFELY. THAT WOULD BE GOOD. I AM SORRY ABOUT THAT TIME THAT..." After I start with the Hail Mary, and if I'm still scared and not feeling at peace, I switch to the big dog of prayer, the "Our Father."
The Civic and I traveled up, up, up. And then we started to go down. Going down in the mountains in a snow storm is worse than going up. It felt totally wrong and out of control. "OUR FATHER WHO ART IN HEAVEN. SHIT. SHIT. I'M SLIDING. SHIT. OOPS. I DIDN'T SAY SHIT. OKAY. YOU
KNOW I DID. YOU KNOW I SAID IT. I'M SORRY. THE CAR WAS OUT OF CONTROL...HALLOWED BE THY NAME. I'M SORRY. OKAY. IT JUST SLIPPED OUT. SERIOUSLY, YOU FELT IT SLIDE DIDN'T YOU? THE CAR WAS REALLY OUT OF CONTROL. THY KINGDOM COME..."
The drive up and then down Trapper's Loop felt never ending. The GPS never seemed to move. It continued to read 11 1/2 hours and continued to warn that I should turn around until I finally shut it off.
All of a sudden it was over. The snow had stopped. There was no incline. The air was crisp, bright, and clean. It looked like Christmas and I was driving through a mountain pass, with mountains, not hills, rising sharply up on both sides of me. I drove by picturesque mountain lodges and restaurants that were covered with deep snow and surrounded by glorious pines. The snow had stopped but I continued to go so very, very slowly and the headlights behind me did not attempt to pass. At a hairpin curve I saw where the semi had taken out most of the barrier. The concrete barrier hung down into a ravine that was filled with a swirling stream. I passed by it, unharmed. I led the way.
I finally got to Ogden and was able to stop again for a rest break. I was still shaking. I asked the cashier at the gas station, "Have you heard about any road closings?" "None that I know of. Let me put tissue in the restroom before you go in." he said.
I drove out of Ogden, got on the Interstate and hightailed it into Idaho without further incident.
Idaho looked a lot like Illinois, except for signs that said, "Caution. Dust Storms possible next 5 miles." Well, I will take a dust storm any old day over Utah and snow. I had to throw away my cold and forgotten chicken strips and homefries. World famous? I'll never know and I'm not returning for a second portion.
Idaho went well and I passed into Oregon. I stayed overnight in Ontario, Oregon, got a flat tire in the morning...paid an arm and a leg for Sunday service of the tire and traversed two more mountain passes in Oregon, one snowy and one not.
As I cruised through the Columbia river gorge, nearing my destination, I thought, "Ahhhh. Almost there. Thank you God. Thank you Mary. What else could possibly be as scary as that?" and then I remembered that I was going to work in a Federal prison. Shucks...
