You, old and for sale house, I both curse you and love you!
You will never be mine! I want you,
and yet I do NOT want you.
Yes, you have a long and rich 89 year history,
but you also have the possibility of creepy ghosties.
Yes, you have a secluded and lovely country setting,
but you are also further from work.
Yes, you have a 2 story barn,
but it is just ramshackle and could fall down and kill us all.
Yes, you, old house, have three wells,
but why? Do some wells not work? Does one well work only in the summer and not in the winter? Why would one lonely house have that many wells? Is one well bound by tree roots and on the constant brink of disaster? Is one well too near your septic system?
What age is your water softener, anyway?
You are a nightmare rather than a realistic dream.
Yet, I pine for you.
Oh, house, Yes, you have a circle drive,
but your garage is unattached and atrocious. How could one even conveniently live with these children without an attached garage?
Yes, house, you have big woodwork and artful built-in cabinetry.
It surrounds your leaky and drafty fireplace. And what is a flue anyway?
Yes, you have charm. Yes, you are beautiful. Yes, you have an attached and fenced pasture. Yes, You Are the Devil's Snare!
You are plaster and lathe. You are knob and tube wiring. You are push-button switches. You are hidden and corroded plumbing. You are drafty windows and high heating bills. You are debt. You are divorce. You are disaster.
Oh, house, how I love you.
But I have no handy skills with which to update you on my own. My skills are of a more bookish nature.
Or if you were bleeding or in cardiac arrest I could fix you right up.
Certainly, it seems I do have plenty of skills that are very useful and handy, but none that would help me with your potential ELECTRICAL, PLUMBING OR STRUCTURAL ISSUES.
You will never be mine! I want you,
and yet I do NOT want you.
Yes, you have a long and rich 89 year history,
but you also have the possibility of creepy ghosties.
Yes, you have a secluded and lovely country setting,
but you are also further from work.
Yes, you have a 2 story barn,
but it is just ramshackle and could fall down and kill us all.
Yes, you, old house, have three wells,
but why? Do some wells not work? Does one well work only in the summer and not in the winter? Why would one lonely house have that many wells? Is one well bound by tree roots and on the constant brink of disaster? Is one well too near your septic system?
What age is your water softener, anyway?
You are a nightmare rather than a realistic dream.
Yet, I pine for you.
Oh, house, Yes, you have a circle drive,
but your garage is unattached and atrocious. How could one even conveniently live with these children without an attached garage?
Yes, house, you have big woodwork and artful built-in cabinetry.
It surrounds your leaky and drafty fireplace. And what is a flue anyway?
Yes, you have charm. Yes, you are beautiful. Yes, you have an attached and fenced pasture. Yes, You Are the Devil's Snare!
You are plaster and lathe. You are knob and tube wiring. You are push-button switches. You are hidden and corroded plumbing. You are drafty windows and high heating bills. You are debt. You are divorce. You are disaster.
Oh, house, how I love you.
But I have no handy skills with which to update you on my own. My skills are of a more bookish nature.
Or if you were bleeding or in cardiac arrest I could fix you right up.
Certainly, it seems I do have plenty of skills that are very useful and handy, but none that would help me with your potential ELECTRICAL, PLUMBING OR STRUCTURAL ISSUES.
2 comments:
Are you actively looking or did you just stumble across this?
NOT LOOKING! Just, um, "stumbled" upon it while I was checking out the price of real estate near us...Just to stay knowledgeable about our area.
Happy where I am, just drawn to old, country houses--like a moth to a flame...
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